If you want to experience a 2 hour watch system at home you will need the following:
- A rowing machine
- 10 of your largest friends or a local rugby team (2 who would enjoy inflicting a bit of pain on you)
- A bouncy castle
- A 1.5m squared wooden box with a hole just big enough to squeeze out of in the front of it
- An 8m x 1.5m wooden plank
- A beanbag for good measure
- Some heat lamps
- Constant supply of water buckets (with a few flying fish added to the buckets at random times)
Now follow the step by step instructions:
- Attach the rowing machine and wooden box to the wooden plank
- Inflate bouncy castle and place the wooden plank, rowing machine and box in the centre of it
- mount the heat lamps above the bouncy castle being careful to focus the majority of the heat above the rowing machine and sleeping box
- Turn lamps on around an hour before starting the exercise so temperatures are at their maximum. You may also want to paint your sleeping box black so it conducts as much heat as is physically possible.
- Climb into box via small hole you have cut yourself and onto bean bag which should be placed inside for comfort purposes
- Now try and sleep for 2 hour whilst your 10 friends or the local rugby team jump around
- PLEASE for safety reasons give the bouncy castle bouncers plenty of water and make sure they take it in turn to jump. There is a strong risk of dehydration due to the heat.
- After 2 hours climb out of the small hole you have cut yourself in the box and clamber onto the rowing machine. The bouncers should probably be at maximum bounce at this time to make it as realistic as physically possible.
- Once on the rowing machine strap yourself in and proceed to row for a 2 hour period.
- During this time your team of bouncers minus 3 will continue to bounce around the board your rowing machine and box is mounted on. This will require you to use every muscle in your body to stay upright.
- The 3 bouncers not bouncing all have very important jobs. The first is to situate themselves in front of the machine and pull hard on the chain in random directions at random times, The second will be to throw random buckets of salt water including a couple of creatures from the deep and the third is to whack your shins on occasions and push you off the machine. This will emulate the wave vs oar effect.
Good luck and enjoy the simulation!!!
May peace be the journey